Everyday feels like I am a rose trampled on the ground. Does anyone see I am a rose? Do I realize I am a rose? If I was a rose wouldn’t I be in a lovers hand? Why am I on the ground?
The recent days I have felt like this. I haven’t let anyone know. But I couldn’t trick God. He allowed a youtube video stumble in my way. Have you ever heard a song that has nothing to do with your situation but you just broke down and cried? This one did it to me…
So I’m going to live today like it was my last day and I’m moving forward. Not going to spend another moment be the rose on the floor.
Labels: God, Music Video, New things, problems
So I have not much to write about my life. So as I was wandering through my mind I think I dug up something worth a blog, lol.
I have been listening to Shane and Shane a lot lately. Actually its playing right now. I was sitting here listening to them and they made a good point. In a certain song they talk about what a wise man has found out about life. And it’s to get over yourself, and that is where life is hidden.
When we all find that we need to get over ourselves is when we can be truly happy. When we see that our lives are just a empty casing of our own selfish desires. We see that God actually has a purpose and a destiny for us. That is when we truly find our greatest fulfillment.
Who would have thought to actually experience a life, you have to give yours up. That when we start living for something greater then ourselves is when we find that life is actually worth living…
Well... The last 24 hours have been fun. Lets start from last night at this time.
So here I was, just like I am right now. Typing away at my computer chatting to a friend. When all the sudden I heard the sprinkler go off. Now I am the only person awake, and my dogs weren't barking, (like they are trained to do when someone enters the yard.) I walked outside to listen, and the noise went away. Hmmmm? So then I continued to chat away with my friend. Then all the sudden I hear it again. Okay someone is messing with me. Maybe a lost illegal immagrent wanting water. So I went got my gun and flashlight.
I told my friend to pray, then weren't outside the front door. Nothing! I then made my way by the cars where half the hose's were, still nothing! So then I entered the porch and made my way to the other side of the yard. Then I heard the noise, and it got louder and louder the closer I made way to the door. Once I heard the noise my heart jumped to my throat, RATTLE SNAKE! I rushed the dogs onto the screened porch and next morning the snake was gone.
Now onto the next bizzare acount of the day. I woke up normal, I studied like normal. Then I got a call around 2pm. It was my sister crying. She was choking on tears as she told me that she needed me to pick her up and drive her to Urgent Care, she had been stung by a scorpion. WOW! So I spent my afternoon in a doctors office, time ticking slowly. And finally my sister was released to go home. She is fine! Lol.
Next bizare moment. I was updating my facebook, when Tony's (my bf) niece started talking to me on MSN. She wanted to know if I had talked to Tony yet. I told her I hadn't and she said "Oh well he's got a new girlfriend now." Talk about a stab to the heart!!!
Now I knew a break up was going to happen. According to my calculations we never had "the talk." So I was still waiting faithfully and praying and hoping for a call. But appearently he thought his bed was getting to cold. I feel cheated to and lied to.
So there is my wonderful day wrapped up in a itty bitty nice little blog. (sorry about the bitterness) Oh! I forgot I also have pink eye, also known as infection in the eye.
I'm done with my waffle, ramble, where ever your from, PEACE LOVE and JOY tomorrow...
If anyone knows of a tall dark and handsome who enjoys a crazy American girl. Give me a call!! In fact if you love the lord and Jesus is your personal savior, and your ugly give me a call anyway... :)
So… Today I had to say goodbye to such a great friend :( This friend I haven’t know for long but he had great advice, and well he had a great ear. I felt I could share ANYTHING with him. Ever meet someone for the first time, you kind of over look them? Well when I first met my friend, he was as usual surrounded by girls, lol. But within the last 2 months or so we just clicked. He became a very dear friend, I once called him my big brother, but now I see him more, a awesome friend… I’ll miss you Benny. I hope you keep in contact… your in my prayers.
So today was kind of a bummer, but God ended it in amazing way…
Labels: Friends, New things, Sad
(Story about my life at the moment)
Break ups are funny, emotional things. Your fine everything is cool you wake up one morning birds singing, sunshine and rainbows. Then in a spilt second GONE!
Numb, shock, depression, anger…. they all hit you at once! Seems like every heart beat comes another emotion, that is gut wrench pain that swells your heat, soul, and mind. You don’t want to cry but your body seems like it can’t contain this much power in your small flesh container.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book "On Death and Dying" explains that there are five steps of grief… They are as follows, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. This model is known as the Kübler-Ross model, (yes creative I know).
A person is suppose to go through all these stages to move on from the grief stage. But is it just mean, or does it feel like I go through all 5 stages with in 5 seconds, then it repeats.
Luckily my heartache was not a very big surprise. I just found out the man I loved, was actually a coward. One stage in this stage of grief is acceptance, but can one accept something that has no closure??
Thanks for my ramble, my chin will be up soon. This coward shall not steal my joy!
“ We the people in order to form a more perfect union. Establish Justice, Insure domestic tranquility. Provide for the common defense, promote for general welfare and secure the blessing of liberty for our selves and our posterity. Due ordain and establish this consititution for the United States of America.”
In the spirit of the 4th of July I decided to go Patriotic. That was the Preamble to the United States of America’s Constitution. Here are some quotes from the Declaration of Independence.
“We hold these truths to be sacred & undeniable; that all men are created equal & independent, that from that equal creation they derive rights inherent & inalienable, among which are the preservation of life, & liberty, & the pursuit of happiness.”
"But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security."
"And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."
To high treason. That's what these men were committing when they signed the Declaration. Had we lost the war, they would have been hanged, beheaded, drawn and quartered! Here's to the men who did what was considered wrong, in order to do what they knew was right...what they knew was right.
(My favorite picture, George Washington prayer at Valley Forge)
IN GOD WE TRUST
